Tigerlily Sandybanks of Frogmorton

This has been my schedule for the last two weeks: work every day except Thursday and Sunday from 8 to 5, rush home to see Ky off to work, and last week, die because of my cold. I’m finally getting over it and am starting to have energy, but we’ve both had to work so much that we’re fighting when we’re together. It’s like we have to not only re-learn how to be around each other, but we also have to work hard after a long day of working. It’s difficult coming home after a long day of trying hard to be happy and cheerful and then come home and be happy and cheerful still. You know? I mean, I don’t usually have to try hard to be that way, but lately it’s been much more difficult.

Okay, but here’s kind of my beef right now. Ky is the kind of person who is very, for lack of a better word, clingy. I am very much the opposite. I don’t cling to anybody. I grew up very independent, pretty much always on my own, having to fend for myself. So, it’s really, really hard for me to want to be with him when he’s being so clingy. I can get past it…most of the time. Every once in a while, though, something will happen that drives me mad. Like he’ll want to stunt his sleep and only get five hours just so he can wake up and be with me. Sweet, right? Well, too bad he’s half asleep and dragging his feet wherever we go because he’s so tired. I keep telling him that I would rather spend one good hour with him than four lousy hours with him. But he’s so attached to me that he is the opposite, I think.

I don’t know. Anyway, the reason for the title of the post is because I have realized lately that I’m trying to kind of mold him to be the kind of man I want him to be instead of the man he wants to be. I’ve been trying to push him into a sport or an activity of some kind. Granted, he keeps saying that he wants to do something, but I think I’m pushing him too hard. It seems like I’m always bugging him about it. I’m always asking him what he wants to do. I’m always asking him what he wants to do with me. I want so badly to get into something with him that we both like to do that we can do together, like a sport or something. He likes bike riding, and so do I. And we’ve been twice. Once in the Springs and once here.

I think the thing that really gets to me is that he doesn’t seem to be a super motivated person. He says he wants to do certain things, but they never get done. And I’ll admit, I’m the same way for the most part. But before I got sick and now that I’m getting better finally, I’m much better about that kind of stuff. I’ll still procrastinate, especially if it’s a really arduous task, I find that I generally don’t do it. But the littler stuff I do. It’s really frustrating to see the one you love go to work, come home, play computer, and go to bed. I want him to be more active, and not just at work because he has to be.

Am I crazy? HELP!