FAMILY: Profile Photos
Here are some profile shots of my belly getting progressively bigger. I will post more as the pregnancy goes along.
- October
- November
- December
- January
- February
- March
- April
ACTIVITIES: Sewing!
Okay, so I recently started to sew, and I love it! I am making things left and right! I made this cute little dress for a toddler (it fit my niece Jaina, who is 3), and I am now selling it on eBay. Please, go take a look!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130298633953
FAMILY: Ethan Goeken
I am putting this under family because I don’t consider this to be work.
A while ago, I was approached by Ky’s brother, Troy, to take pictures of their family. I was very excited at the prospect and grabbed at the chance. He said they wanted to have pictures done outside, somewhere in the mountains. I thought that was fine. He just needed to let me know when and where, and I’d try to work it out. We decided to go to Rocky Mountain National State Park on a Saturday morning.
That was a lot of fun, and the pictures turned out pretty well. So when he called me to have me take some of their three-week-old Ethan, I knew I couldn’t turn him down. I went to the fabric store and got some black fabric and headed over to their house.
Troy wanted a specific type of picture done, so we began there. We worked inside with little light, so it was very difficult to get a good picture. My shutter speed was quite slow, the highest being 1/20 without being TOO dark (although they will all have to be lightened up), and since they’re portraits, I didn’t want my ISO to be anything but 100.
I’m working on getting a photography website up for myself, so I will update with a link as soon as I do. And, if Troy and Suzanne let me, I will have a few of Ethan’s pictures up to showcase what I captured.
POLITICS: Freedom of Choice Act
This has laid really heavy on my heart right now, for fairly obvious reasons. I signed the petition, and if you are also against the Freedom of Choice Act, I would highly encourage you to do the same. As it says on the website:
“FOCA would wipe away every restriction on abortion nationwide. This would eradicate state and federal laws that the majority of Americans support, such as: Bans on partial birth abortions; Requirements that women be given information about the risks of getting an abortion; Only licensed physicians can perform abortions; and Parents must be informed and give consent to their minor daughter’s abortion. FOCA would erase these laws and prevent states from enacting similar protective measures in the future.”
I am personally VERY against abortions, but even if you’re not, this should NOT be a federal issue. Period. It should be decided within each state.
FRIENDS: Isolating Myself
There are many reasons I feel very lonely right at this moment.
- Extra hormones in my body because of the baby that are making me feel very tired and reclusive
- Winter, dark (need I say more?)
- Living in a basement with virtually no natural light, so I feel like I need to be hibernating
- Looking at pictures of my other friends out there enjoying life
There are two people who moved out of state recently whom I find myself missing a lot. We hung out with these two the most. We never felt judged around them, we always made each other laugh, and we just had a lot of fun. I miss that. I want that again. If I can’t get it from them, I want to find someone else who can be like that. I want friends who are slightly older than us so they are more mature, but not so much so that we can’t laugh and tell jokes and have a good time. I want friends who know our boundaries but still try to push us to them and then some. I want friends who won’t judge us for our mistakes but rather be by our side to help us discover and correct them. I want friends who will call when they say they will call. I want friends who will return a message as soon as they can instead of ignoring and deleting it.
I want friends….
Maybe it’s me, maybe not, but since said couple has moved away, I have been unable to find the friends I am looking for. I see my old friends being friends to others the way I want. I see friends I’ve known for a long time and am sad and feel guilty for not having the connection I used to with them. I have friends who have damaged our relationship to almost irreplacable measures. I have friends I am terrified to see because I’m too scared to tell how I really feel and don’t want them to see it in my eyes. I have friends I am constantly on eggshells around.
For years, I have danced around what being a friend really means. Based on my knowledge of what being a friend is, I am a horrible friend. I am one of the worst friends in history. I was in the wedding of one of my best friends growing up a few weeks ago, and I felt completely out of place. All her other bridesmaids were girls she had not only known for less time than me but people she sees all the time, hangs out with, goes on road trips with, takes tons of pictures with. They were all incredibly involved in the planning of the wedding, right up to the moment she said I do. And me? I sat in the corner of the room and watched, waiting for someone to give me something to do so I wouldn’t feel so out of place.
Ky is my best friend. I love him and can spend more time with him than I can with anyone else I’ve ever known. And most days, that’s enough. But right now, in this moment, I want something more. I want to go on adventures, get lost, go through challenges, and have a million stories to tell because of it. I can’t help but be a little bitter when I hear people talking about the fun they had on their mission trips, or the fun they had driving to Moab, or all the awesome stuff they did on their trip to Europe.
I am a social disaster. I need help. If there is anyone out there who is willing to help me, please speak up. It will be miserable. It will be like pulling teeth…from a T-Rex. I will not be as willing to be helped as I sound right now. I will fight the social reformation. But deep down inside, I want to change. I want to be less socially awkward. And I want to have friends.
Please. Help.
FAMILY: Build-A-Bear
Ky and I spent a very long two days at the mall. Well, it seemed like we were there for two days straight, but we really only spent about six to eight hours there.
Yesterday, we took Bella to the Build-A-Bear workshop as promised from Christmas. We must have spent about two and a half hours just trying to decide what she wanted and what was in our budget. She did really well. And although she wanted more than we could afford or allotted for her, she didn’t complain when she couldn’t get them. We told her we just couldn’t afford a lot of things at that point and said we might go back later, and she was very understanding. That was very cool.
She ended up getting a brown bunny with a Hannah Montana shirt and jeans, some white bows for the ears, and a life-like beating heart, which is actually kind of creepy. But she loves it, and we really enjoyed the day together.
Today we went with Jaina. She is so precious. She sang a song, not sure of what the actual title is, but it goes “Deep and wide, deep and wide, there’s a fountain flowing deep and wide” the whole way there. That’s all she knew of the song, and she just kept repeating it over and over again. Very cute, especially in her high-pitched, three-year-old voice.
She didn’t have that much trouble picking her stuffed animal. After seeing her big sister’s bunny, she knew she had to get the same thing. And that was okay with us. We did talk her into a different outfit than Bella’s, though. We knew it would cause problems, and we didn’t want any confusion between them. She instead got a pink Hello Kitty shirt and a little pink mini skirt with pink bows on the ears, a pink collar, and the same life-like heart.
We took each of them to dinner as well, so we got more time with them than just shopping. It was nice to sit down and talk and interact with each other. Bella is such a great storyteller. She loves to tell stories. And Jaina is such a goofball, she just likes to have a good time.
We really enjoyed the days with the girls, and although they were long and somewhat tiresome, I wouldn’t mind doing it again someday.
FAMILY: Christmas!
Christmas was such a blast! We had such a great day. It was rather long, as it always is, and I didn’t get near enough sleep, but it was totally worth it.
We got to my mom and dad’s house around 9:30am (only to discover that Ky left my gift at home and had to go back to get it). As soon as he got back, we did our traditional walk down the stairs, although it wasn’t in age order like it should have been, but I’m just knit-picking.
We opened our stockings next. I love stockings because my mom (aka Mrs. Claus) usually gets pretty creative and personalized stuff for us. This year was no different. And we have a lot more people than we used to have, too. In age order: Dad, Mom, Dave, Colleen, Kevin, Kris, Ky, me, Bear, Bella, and Jaina. It used to be just five or six of us. Next year, we’ll have our own little baby to add to the mix!
After stockings, I kind of rested (cooking a baby is tiring!) while my dad and brother cooked breakfast. Bacon, eggs, and sausage. Yum! I actually ate this year! I’m almost never hungry at breakfast on Christmas, but this year was different since I’ve got another mouth to feed. After breakfast, we all ambled into the family room where all the presents were while restlessly waiting for my mom to finish the dishes, as she always does. OCD, what can I say?
We spent a few hours opening gifts, although not as long because everybody was just slightly short on money this year. Either way, I was able to get something for everybody, and I’ve never been able to say that before. I got Ky an XBOX 360, my dad and brother got a train poster, my mom got a puzzle, Kris and Dave got a voucher from us for tickets to see a show at the Heritage Square Music Hall, Bella and Jaina each got vouchers for a Build-A-Bear stuffed animal, and Karen, Kev and Colleen all get something later (can’t say what it is in case they’re reading this…it’s still a surprise).
I got some wonderful things too, including a beautiful necklace (two actually) from Ky, a scanner from my dad, several maternity shirts from my mom and sister, and other things. Can’t really remember right now what all I got and from whom. Don’t really care, actually. I know I got some great stuff, but mostly I had a great day spending time with everybody.
After presents, we had some delicious turkey, played some Trivial Pursuit, and then we came home. All in all, it was a really terrific day.
FAMILY: Ultrasound Picture #2
Here’s the second ultrasound. Luckily, they used the gel on the belly this time. No more alternate route for me!

Hello baby!
ACTIVITIES: TTFN Gymnastics
As you may know, TTFN means “ta ta for now.” I’m very sad because I’m having to give up gymnastics while I’m pregnant. They say that you can’t do something that’s so high impact like that. So I’m really bummed about that. Don’t get me wrong, I’d gladly give it up for the safety of my child, but it also made me feel really good getting out and exercising like that. I just hope I can get back into it quickly enough after the baby is born.








